Why accepting free stuff is so hard

Have you ever gone out for coffee with a friend and had that awkward moment at the till which goes a little something like this:

The friend - “I’ll get it”

Me – “no, it’s OK I can pay for mine”

Friend – “no, I insist. I don’t mind”

Me – “are you sure?” (hasn’t put wallet away yet)

Friend – “I’m sure. Go find us a table”

Me – “OK, I’ll get it next time”

I told you it was hard to accept free stuff, and you didn’t believe me, did you! In our relationships we feel most comfortable when we are equal to the other party. We don’t want to be the charity case who everyone is always helping along. If someone does something nice for us we feel guilty until we have returned the favour.

Jesus told a story about a Pharisee and a tax collector. The Pharisee lists off a whole lot of things he has done for God; he fasts, he tithes, he doesn’t cheat. He believes that he and God are tight because God does good things for him and then he returns the favour. But the tax collector just breaks down in fear and sorrow before God; he is worried because He knows that God is holy and good and he is bad. There is no way he could start to even up the relationship and so he cries out for God to have mercy on him. And God justifies him (makes the tax collector right/perfect in His eyes). 

As Christians we know that we should be like the tax collector because in the end he is the one that God approves of. But we don’t really want to be the tax collector because deep down you and I actually act like the Pharisee! And how can I make such a bold claim? Well, when someone buys us a coffee we fight that free gift. We want to be able to contribute something towards it. We can’t just take it for what it is. And we treat our relationship with God in the same way. His unconditional embrace of us sinners seems like an offer that is too good to be true. So we fight it, always wanting to give something back, and feeling guilty when we fail. But God does not need anything from us, least of all our filthy good works. He freely gives us all His good works and they are enough. 

So when you are feeling down because you failed yet again to make yourself acceptable in God’s eyes, be comforted that your relationship with God is 0% dependent on your contribution and you are 100% acceptable to God because of Jesus Christ. So relax! Rest in this good news and savour it’s sweetness like free cup of coffee.